Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
