she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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