she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
