hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
