imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
