wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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