Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
