I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
