White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize