I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
