Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Boobs speak an international language.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
last night I used snow as a chaser
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
