decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No subtext here. People are naked.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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