this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
