Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
