Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
