I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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