I hope mine doesn't look like that
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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