I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I want to have your abortion
North Korea, Best Korea!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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