Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
