my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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