Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
