saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
