i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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