Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
