she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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