I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Randomize