sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
