My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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