on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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