He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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