I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We just shotgunned beers for America
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
