i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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