but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
