I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Randomize
