Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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