Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
