i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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