Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There r osticjed everywhere
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
