We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize