This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
