new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
