that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
