you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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