You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize