he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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