I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
