you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
