Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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