Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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