Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
