I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
