marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
