I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
our cab driver is having phone sex.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
