I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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