We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
