is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
