he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
