Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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