We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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