HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
