he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
